Are you trying to figure out the perfect gift for your sweetheart? Do you want to get them something they will always treasure and remember?
You may have heard about this in passing, or maybe you even read up on it, but have you used it? What is it?? It's the love languages.
"How do I get that for someone?" you may be asking. Well, you look online or get the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, learn what they are, figure out what your language is and also what language your partner speaks. Then start speaking to your partner in their love language.
I hear you. One of you out there in blogland is inquiring, "Why would I ever want to do that?" Well it's simple. If I only speak English while my partner only speaks Italian we are going to have a pretty difficult time communicating. Sometimes we may feel understood, but mostly there is going to be massive confusion.
It's the same principle for love languages. One of my clients, Charles, a 30-year-old man, came to me because he was having relationship problems. After listening for several sessions it became apparent that he and his wife had no clue how to speak each other's love language. They didn't even know what their own language was to tell the other what they needed in order to feel loved!
For 3 months I urged Charles to get the book and read it. It was my belief that about 50% of this couple's problems would disappear if they would learn how to speak love to each other.
Charles came back after our Christmas break and bounded into my office. I said, "You sure look chipper!" And he said, "Ann, my wife bought me the love language book for Christmas and I read it!" Charles explained that they figured out what each other's love languages were, made a list of things that they would each like the other to do, and their relationship had improved immensely.
Usually what happens is we try to speak our own love language to our partner and if their love language is the same, then fantastic! Easy peasy! But what happens if your love language is physical touch while your partner's love language is words of affirmation?
You keep trying to cuddle and they keep saying they never feel appreciated!
They are wanting to hear your words that tell them how much you appreciate and love them! When you speak their language and they feel loved, then they are more likely to give you the cuddle time you are looking for in order to feel loved. Win - win!
Miscommunication abounds even when there is love all around. So what to do???
Get the book, borrow it, (someone you know has it) and surprise your love by discovering and speaking their language. And be sure to inform them of what your love language is too!
This IS the gift that keeps on giving. The more loved your mate feels, the more they will want to make you feel loved! And the circle of love begins!
Give it a try and let me know what happens. I can't wait to hear from you!